Gr3tta: thanks so much for your advice. I so appreciate what you said. I agree my girls do need to drive even though it freaks me out! I need to make sure I do all I can to prepare them for this world. One day I won't be here and I need to be sure that they can do for themselves. As far as my son goes I know it's much cheaper for him to live here with me while he's attending his community college. He doesn't bring girls home either. He is a super shy kid and he has super social issues just like me. I don't mind him still living at home but I want to see him grow and become more independent. I know I just need to have more patience with all that and allow him to achieve that in his own time. I know we need to move. This old building we live in has lots of issues so even if I bought new appliances there are lots of other issues that would take money to fix. I just need to explore my options and see what I could qualify for. I allow my "symptoms" and my paranoia and fears to keep me stuck in this gutter. I need to find strength to pull myself out and make things better for myself. I hate how my life is right now and need to do some serious changing.