I feel your pain. I swear if I hear the words 'we're just friends' one more time I'm going to freaking scream. I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm sorry that our partners feel that minimizing it makes it okay because it's really not. My situation is more complicated than yours (see "Two wrongs"), but I still understand. Be strong, stay positive, you'll be okay - you're really not messed up, just confused.