in my work with the elderly, i have to be extra alert to pick up physical signals because often the patient cannot articulate their feelings. when i am in their homes, i can see their facial expressions, hand expression, etc. i can gauge what i should do by watching them closely. and i can assure you that most of them are very capable of watching me closely and picking up on "signs" that i might exhibit and not be aware of.

here in the internet world, i can ask myself, "is this feeling, that i think another poster has, what i would want for myself?" if it isn't, then i'm on the wrong track with the poster. i have to be able to gauge their boundaries by knowing what mine are and trying to understand their background (what i know about it) and work with that. if i can't understand, then i feel that i must retreat and try to not impact the other poster negatively.

thank you all so much for your positive replies. i've been thinking about this for about 5 or 6 days and was hopeful that i could articulate it in a way that it would "make sense" to my peers here.my thinking can really get screwy at times. thanks for validating that sometimes the ole brain hums.....

boundaries aren't just mine. they belong to every poster here.......love, pat