I think this is a difficult situation. First, I can offer you a bit about my experience when I became a mother. My first child did not sleep for more than an hour at a time for many months. Then he woke up four times a night during that first year. Even though I've now had trouble sleeping for over two years, the tiredness I feel now is nothing compared to that first year with my child. I remember very clearly that when he was about 15 months old and I was getting more sleep, I had a mini-revelation. I had actually slept ok for a couple of weeks and I was sitting on my couch realizing just how out of it I had been for over a year. It was like the first time I could think like a normal human being again.

I'm not trying to say one type of fatigue is worse than another, because that is completely unfair--sort of like comparing levels of mental illness. But maybe your friend (either due to extreme fatigue or hormones) is incapable of thinking clearly or thinking about anyone's needs but her own. Because of this, I think it's important for you to think about your needs. Certainly you don't want to dismiss your friend, but she may not be able to be a friend to you right now.

What really helped me get through things at that time was to join a mother's group. It let all of us talk about new babies with other people who were interested. Perhaps suggest this to her in a way like, "Wow, I really can't relate but I hear some people benefit from having a new mom's peer group. Have you looking into that? I'm just concerned you're not getting the support you need right now?"

No matter what your friend is experiencing, I think there is nothing wrong with making your needs clear in a direct, yet respectful way. "I love hearing about the baby, but when you talk about how tired you are, it makes me think about how tired I've been for so long. Since I'm exploring my PTSD now, it's difficult to have these types of conversations. Maybe we can focus on all the good things about being a new mother?" I know everyone is different, but I can't imagine a comment like that would be offensive. Whether it will improve things, well, I don't know.

Sorry for the rambling. I guess I'm just saying I can understand a little bit why she's being an insensitive oaf (yes, she is!) and can understand your feelings completely. You need to take care of you. Hopefully your T will be able to help you do that.