Charl, I was in the same boat as you when I was first diagnosed 9 years ago. I was in my first semester away at college and I had become very depressed and felt like nothing good was ever going to happen for me and that I should just end everything. Luckily I had family who noticed that I was spiraling downward and got me the help I needed. I ended up dropping out of school and moving back home to get myself the help I needed. To this day that is the best thing that has ever happened to me, when I moved home I met my the woman I would marry within a few months of being home and enrolling at the local university. We have a son together who turned 1 today. Things will turn around for you, you just have to fight everyday and get the help you need. I am back in a dark place, but I will keep fighting because I know there will be some sort of light at the end of the table.