I have great difficulty doing opposite of what I'm told. I was raised very strict and took everything to heart. If there are rules, I follow them. I know that feeling of internal unease of "I'm going to get in trouble" and making sure I'm doing everything right. I don't know what It is called. I thought my therapist would help me with it, but instead she has taught me to use it to my advantage.

I have bipolar and she thinks this trait is needed for control during hypomania and mania and she is right. She gives me rules and I can't break them. It has been frustrating, but kept me safer.