I have to go around my soon to be ex-husband very often to pick up my children and drop them off.

He is abusive I see this now. I don't know why it took me years..... He does stuff like grab me if I try and get away when he is saying terrible things to me. Or hold me down, or push me against a wall. And then continues to say terrible things to me and tell me its my fault untill I lash out and slap him or push him away. Then it makes me feel like a bad person saying I'm always hurting him when I'm trying to defend myself.

It's never things that are so bad that I need to call the police... but it does take its toll on me.

I don't know how to deal with it. How do you handel it if you have to see the person all the time?