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Hey Guys! I'm back again! Most of you know the story about Jake. I feel hopeless and depressed. I am going through a lot for a 20 year old. On August 7th 2013, was the best night of my life. I was with Jake and I had so much fun! I loved his energy, being around him, how funn he was. The night was exceptional! And it was because of Jake. Then the next day August 8th, I get a frantic call from Jake saying that Mikey died. Mikey use to work for my dad, and he was the only person I called my friend. Mikey is such a sweet caring person, and I had a massive crush on him, but we kinda feel out of touch cause he got a girlfriend, a new job, and a baby. He died at the age of 23 of a Heroin Overdose.
How could it be? Such a beautiful night the night before, and then I get devastating news.
My depression filtered me and I thought it filtered Jake. A month later Jake contacts me and says how much he likes Natalie and how he thinks it's going to lead to dating. Natalie was Mikey's girlfriend. I said "It seems too soon" Jake seemed very cold about Mikey saying "It was his choice! He stuck the needle in his arm" "They would still be together if he would kick the habit, and he obviously didn't care about his daughter enough to stay clean" I was shocked and I am thinking how dare you?
Meanwhile, he is saying all of that, but yet he does Cocaine, and is a functioning alcoholic.
Then September 21st, 2013 my grandfather dies. Another devastating, unfair death. My grandfather wasn't old enough to die IMO. He was only 78. And such a beautiful person as well. As you can tell I am in a deep, dark, lonely, hollow hole...that I feel I can't climb out of.
In October, Jake started his jealousy crap again. My dad said that I liked this guy Jeromy, and Jake said "WHAT? She is way too hot for him and way too good for him!" "If those two date I will never speak to her again!" Meanwhile he is telling everyone that he is dating Natalie. And then a couple of days later he lies to my dad and said that WE have been dating the past 3 months. My dad was angry and thought that was true.
I found out that Jake and Natalie have been having sex even when Mikey was alive! The grimey pig was cheating on him with Jake. And Jake is a piece of **** as well. I hate that I go back and forth though. Like one minute I hate him, then I don't. I care, then I don't. He denies having sex and dating Natalie to me and me only when he tells everyone else that she is his girlfriend.
Jake hasn't talked to me, but how him and Natalie are going about this, is very cold. They think Mikey is a piece of ****, basically. I am crying so much. I can't get over the death of my friend, and my grandfather. And what's funny is that Natalie trapped Mikey with a baby, but yet the nasty ***** cheats on him? WOW! I feel so guilty, like why didn't I try to help him?
I miss my friend so much, and I wish I could've done something. He is around nothing but trash. I would've expanded his mind, and he probably would've been clean if I were involved, cause all he is around is inadequate, incompetent people. They don't know anything about emotions, or life for that matter. They are like cavemen, and are barbaric. I feel so alone. I saw Jake for who he really is. He is messing with my head again, and I get handle this. Like why does he deny Natalie to me but admits it to everyone else? Why does he care so much who I go out with? I hate this.
Please help..I need input. I am all over the place, and I feel so alone. I miss my friend and my grandfather so much.
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