Quote:
Originally Posted by learningtolive2013
I have just recently felt like I've gotten over my ex and i feel like a fish out of water trying to learn to breath.. The water is "emotional attachment to someone", the sand is unfamiliar territory and it makes me want to jump back in the water "an emotional attachment" just to breath again.
I feel so uncomfortable right now. A relationship gives me an identity, attaching myself to someone gives me life and right now I am very uncomfortable with no attachment.
I want to stop myself from pursuing anything because I know it would be therapeutic.. I hope that I can learn to walk on the sand without jumping back in for awhile. I need to.
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I can say from experience, if you are able to stay out of any situation that would cause you to become emotionally attached again, that it will get better, and you'll grow a lot. I say from experience as my last marriage of 13+ years was broken about 19~20 months ago. I have had some situations with online people that I got attached to for a time but have since removed myself from those situations and in RL I've been successful at going it alone.
It gts a lot better, and you find yourself, your independence and will even possibly enjoy the singlehood you find yourself in. Granted, I still do desire a mate, a companion and all that but it's not overly a need for me anymore and that's a good thing. When we feel we "need" someone to be happy, fulfilled, etc.. we become blinded by that and it only leads to unhealthy relationships. Right now I'm closer to being healthy than ever before and I attribute it to the long time I've been single, just me and my boys (I'm a single father). I know when the time comes, I'm better off now seeing the other person more objectively than ever before, although I'm still not rushing or looking.