The relief is gone, replaced by the feeling that I'm a horrible person for feeling relief over my diagnosis. Like I have no right at all to be so okay with it. Oh well, I'm not okay right now, so I guess I shouldn't feel like that anymore.

I'm remembering things from before I started medication, and I'm extremely angry that nobody had caught this sooner. They used to just say I 'wanted' to be crazy, and that I was making what I saw up.

Just because I didn't have the 'usual' want to hide my symptoms doesn't mean I was faking them. I also have ADHD and a lot of issues with controlling what I tell people. But then again they didn't catch THAT until a lot later in life too.

I feel angry. I was so open about everything. The things I saw and believed. People should have -known-.