As others have said, I don't think you are alone in how you feel. Growing up, getting married, and having kids is so ingrained that sometimes not enough thought is given before making big life decisions. I have teenagers and still wonder what life would have been like had I not had kids. My husband and I made a decision to have them, but really, I would not say I was mature enough at the time to really think it through. I do love my children, but they can really take over your life.

My advice: Acknowledge your feelings, accept that you have not chosen to feel this way, and realize that there are many people who feel the same way. Perhaps if you sit down with a piece of paper and make a list of things that are driving you crazy about your kids, then, try to devise ways to make the things less annoying, it might be helpful. At the very least, it might make you feel like you are taking charge of the situation.

Ok some examples:

1. You can't stand it when they cry and whine. Solution--take a Mommie time out. My friend used to do this. As long as the kids weren't hurting each other, she would go to her room for some quiet. She would explain that if she didn't take a time out, she would start yelling and she needed to calm down. Not only did it get her some peace, but the kids learned to follow her example to calm down themselves.

2. You can't stand the fighting. Solution--the kids get a time out in separate rooms. There is nothing wrong with the kids having to entertain themselves. I also could never stand the fighting and would often separate everyone!

3. The kids mess up the house and you feel overwhelmed with taking care of everyone (ok, you didn't say this, but it's one thing I feel myself quite often). Solution--even at age 4, kids can be responsible. They can put things in the dishwasher, sort laundry, get their own snacks (yogurt, cheese, fruit). You can reward them for doing each task. It's a respect thing that kids should learn.

So, sorry if the examples seem insulting and not at all what you were looking for. For me, sometimes it helps to have something solid to work on. Also, it took me quite a long time to not feel guilty about using the TV or videos to help. Sometimes I would just not want to deal with the kids and would set them up watching something. In reality, it was probably better that they watch TV rather than have me irritated (or yelling at) with them for just being kids.