You do sound like you are in a lot of pain. You say it has only been three months since you found out? Yeah, that sounds about right- of course you do not feel like you can trust or want to talk to anyone. It will get better- the hurt and pain anyways. It has been over a year since I've told my husband and things have just recently been "good" again but that doesn't mean he isn't still struggling. Anyways, I think the most important thing you said is that she hasn't genuinely apologized and you hinted that she may be sort of not into making things work? Maybe that's not what you meant or maybe you are just feeling so much pain? Has she said she'd like to make it work? Do you?

Hang in there- and also know that although you and I are sort of at different ends of the spectrum, we have one thing in common, along with everyone else here and that is that we are in need of support, and that is exactly what you'll find here!