im so ashamed...im so self obsessed..
i feel like if i dont concentrate on this overwhelming feeling though, that itll get me
im so not worthy of anything...
im not worthy of being loved and cared for, i deserve to be by myself and ruin my own life and not affect anyone else...
i would rather die than hurt someone else or affect them so badly
i need love,
i want my daddy back
i want my mommy back
the normal ones(they were never normal to beging with but its nice to dream), not the drunk raging hating lunatics that dont love me
trying to concentrate on being a nurse...its not working
Oh you guys im so sorry for inconviencing you, you guys must hate me for wasting your space and just talking about myself...
I read someone who had Schizophrenia was afraid of Satan getting her....maybe i might have that (please dont think im a hypochondriac, i really do feel bad...both physically and mentally no body believes me,( my parents wouldnt allow me to go to the doctors except a ped. for a basic physical)I have no insurance, i have to wait, a friend who is an RN says i have lung damage, and its possible i might be getting arthritis (im only 18!) or it could be cancer...that runs heavily in my family...that scares me to
i am afraid of people getting me at night...i feel like ghosts are coming to get me ...my thoughts turn really loud into someone else talking, i hear people in my head screaming at me and all i can do is freeze in the fetal position and rock saying im ok
i just thought i had an overactive imagination
this is a bad night...im so worthless it sickens me...
Oh God you guys im so sorry, i dont want to make mistakes please forgive me...dont hate me, ill try to be better i promise
ill work really hard at supporting you guys...just please dont push me away