I honestly understand, last week I was having obsessive intrusive thoughts that I couldnt stop and even though I didnt want ME to be gone I wanted the thoughts to be gone. I wanted to flip the off switch. I was having trouble figuring out how to do that and finally figured the hospital could at least get me out of the environment and maybe give me something to make the thoughts stop. Thankfully they have lessened on their own, how I am not totally sure. Maybe all that sleep? But I am a lightweight kl knocks me out. Thats why I suggest the hospital.