I am a massive piece of ****. In all honestly, I'm just wasting all of your resources. The person I hate the most is myself, though there are plenty of others I hate as well.

I shouldn't try. Everyone is better than me, and more deserving of love and happiness. I am negative in value. No one truly cares for me or loves me. Even any who would read this wouldn't care, because I'm worth less than anyone who'll ever visit these forums.

If I were to die now, or tomorrow, it'd be fine. No one's lives would be fairly interrupted by it. They wouldn't care, and would probably be happier that I wasn't there to waste their time and resources and bother and annoy them. A party would be in order, as to celebrate my long awaited passing. A funeral would be out of the question-- they'd just have to dump my body in the woods. Though, that'd also be useless, as no animal would dare even touch me, flies would avoid me like the plague, and bacterium would refuse to grow upon my corpse.

Recently, I learned how much better my cousin is than me. Of the family, my cousin is the crowned jewel. He relates to my father, grandfather, uncle, and the rest of my family as well. He gets all of their praise and attention, and functions extraordinary well in social environments, and gets everyone's love, attention and respect... unlike me. My father loves him more than me, as does everyone else. He is much smarter, physically attractive, healthier, stronger, taller, and... superior to me.

Even as I write this, I wonder if anyone will even read or care. I don't deserve any of your time or efforts, and all I deserve is a slow and arduous death. My mother was wholeheartedly right when she had said she wished she aborted me.

I am the opposite picture of my cousin. I am a fat, mentally-deficient, stupid, unlovable, socially-nonfunctional, binging, resource wasting, ugly, stupid piece of ****.