People who don't know what it is like to have depression think that we are just wallowing in our troubles. They don't understand that depression can go way beyond feeling sorry for ourselves. I have had depression for a long time and I need support too! I can support you here.
I have had friends who I couldn't talk to about certain things. We are not friends any more because there was no real foundation. I hope you get lots of support here. One last thing, your friend probably stops talking to you when you mention suicide because he has no idea how to handle your feelings. Not trying to be bossy or tell you what to do. Just sayin'. . .