Quote:
Originally Posted by Useless Me
Hello Brunette,
Sorry to hear that life has been dumping on you. I do not have any magic words that will make your pain disappear...... sorry.
But here is my thoughts after reading your post... (ignore the order of my comments)
- I abhor drug use. I hate, hate, hate it. It is so incredibly stupid. If you need to get high.... get drunk. It is LEGAL and people are not murdered daily because of beer smuggling. I know pro-drug people will want to crucify me - but there is NEVER a good reason for drug abuse (IMO).
- Your "friend" who is sleeping around is a pile of dog poo.... I agree. If I were in your shoes - I would never talk to him again. And if anyone mentioned his name to myself - I would bluntly tell them that you do not associate with him due to his immoral actions. (no further discussion should ever occur).
- Your grandpa... Ouch and hugs to you. I know it hurts. It hurts very bad. I suppose it is supposed to hurt. If it didn't hurt - then (I guess) that person did not mean much to you....
78 is not a bad age to go. I know you didn't like it. But he did live a long life. Personally I do not want to be around at that age. I am heaven bound and I am very open to going anytime He will take me.
I hope that was not too preachy. And I really do feel for you - your pain is real and deep. They say time heals all wounds. Personally, I think that is crap - but time does soften it some.......
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Thank you so much! I do agree! I hate drug use and I hate Heroin. I don't believe that saying either "Time heals all wounds" I believe that time makes it different, but definitely doesn't heal. I actually feel like time is making me worse. The reality is setting in that I will never see my grandfather, and Mikey again. It's a disturbing thought, that I seem to dwell deeper in. I can't find any hope, and I just feel so down. No more happy times with Jake, No more Mikey, No more Grandpa. I am not religious so I cant even find comfort in God. (Please I mean no offense when I say this, I really hope I don't offend anyone) I wish I was religious cause maybe then I would find solace in knowing that my grandfather and Mikey are in heaven, but I really don't know so I cant make that judgement, and because I don't know....that makes it harder for me to move on.
I appreciate your answer, and like I said I hope I didn't offend anyone when I said I am not religious. I just feel so lonely, and weak. I don't care if I go on living anymore. I feel like I had my heart ripped in half. I still cant believe that I was having such a good time, the night before and then Mikey dies the next day. I cant go to a baseball game now and I don't think I ever will cause I look at it as bad luck now.
I just wish none of this happened, and that everything was ok. If I could die to bring back my grandfather and Mikey I would do it! I feel like they have more of a purpose to be here than I do. And I just want them back.
Sorry, I am just so depressed. I feel so weak.