Yes, PolkadotPixie,

I have felt like that. When I was working, I worked as a clerk in a grocery store and had customers all day long or night long.

Anyways, I would have a big smile on my face and joke back and forth with the customers and the whole time, I was dying inside. I felt like such a fake. But, I didn't want anyone to know that I could care less about them or anyone else. I just wanted to get my shift overwith so I could go home.

I lived like that for quite awhile until I couldn't take it anymore. I finally went to my doctor and broke down right there in his office. I cried like a baby. I guess I had held it inside for so long that it was a big release.
He put me on an anti-depressant and it didn't work. I tried several before we came up with a good combo. I now take two different kinds of anti-depressants and so far they are working pretty well. I still have days where I feel it creeping back but I try and fight it with all I have.

I guess I will fight it for the rest of my life.

So, yes, I do understand how you feel. I do hope that you will go to your doc and be honest with her. She can't help you unless you help yourself and the first step is to be honest.

I wish you all the best and let us know how you do. K?
Hugs,
Linda