Hi Core. I did read everything you wrote, and I do believe you. I'm sorry to hear about your dilemmas.

Honestly, no one here is going to be able to "diagnose" you with anything, so I think the best thing would be to seek a psychologist who is better equipped at that sort of thing.

From what i've read throughout the site and my own struggle with SPD, I read traits that could suggest Schizotypal, borderline, bipolar, histrionic, narcissistic and antisocial pd. So honestly, its not really a simple "cut and dry" scenario. And the truth is, you can have more than one disorder (i have schizotypal and dependent) or none at all.

I do think you'll benefit from seeing someone (a counselor/psychologist/psychiatrist) and being tested, but also the relationship that therapy provides (comfort, listening, safety). However, I know you're young, so you will probably have to go through your parents at least until you are 18.

I do wish you the best of luck and hope things get better for you. Feel free to private message me if you ever just wanna chat.