I've struggled with moderate to severe depression since I was in high school. I'm pretty good at concealing it from other people when I'm more in a moderate phase but when it turns severe, I have what I refer to as "leaks" - instances where I can't control it 100% and it manifests in public. This most recent time I started therapy again, I had a "leak" at work and SIed during normal business hours. That feeling of being out of control to that degree scared me enough that I forced myself to make the call - felt that I would lose everything I had worked so hard for if I didn't do something to put the brakes on.