I'd known that I needed help for years, but couldn't get up the courage to go. The first therapist I saw was after my brother took his life. My mother decided that the whole family needed grief counselling (we did) and set up an appointment with a therapist. I knew I needed help with other things, and as we were leaving that initial appointment, I told my parents that I had to use the restroom and would meet them back at their house for dinner. Once they'd left, I stopped the therapist in the hallway and just asked her if she could please help me.

That first therapist was not a good fit, but it was better than nothing at the time. She ended up abruptly closing her practice, but referred me to another therapist before closing. That second therapist wasn't a good fit either, but I didn't really realize that until later. After working with that second therapist, I made myself a promise that if I ever got to the point of considering sui again, I would seek out a therapist on my own, that would be a good fit for me.

About 3 years later, I'd moved to a new state, and was really struggling. I remembered my promise to myself and started looking for a new T. I found one that I thought might work, went to one appointment and decided she was crazier than I was. That put me off of searching for a few months. Then, I decided that I still needed help, and I sat down and really defined my criteria for a good T. I found one I thought would work, bookmarked her profile on Psychology Today, and then looked at it daily for a couple of weeks before getting up the nerve to contact her via the email link to ask for a phone consultation. Turns out it was a perfect match, and the rest is history.

For me, the biggest issue was thinking that my issues weren't severe enough to need a therapist and just the anxiety of actually trying to contact a complete stranger to ask for help.