As my T has explained to me, there can be parts of a personality that just don't fully develop (like your part that still views yourself as a young teen when it comes to "body stuff"). Usually, it means that we missed some part of our own development as we were growing up. It's not too late to develop that part, though. For myself, I feel like I went from kid to adult without any of the typical teenage stuff. So, my T often says that I need to actually experience my teenage years in some way...not sure how to do that as a nearly 40 year old woman, but we've come up with some ideas.

I think, when your T said you have choices, she wasn't necessarily referring to divorce, but that you have options in general. You said she offered some ideas and you gave reasons why they wouldn't work. Could you maybe, instead, think about why they might work? What parts of them might work? Could you cobble together something from the suggestions she gave that would be a viable option for you. You DO have choices, even if that choice is to stay in your marriage, to remain dependent, and to remain embarrassed. There's nothing that says you HAVE TO change. That is a choice only you can make, and only if you want to. Choice does not mean change. Choice means that you choose whether or not to change and if that first choice is to change, then you choose how to implement those changes.