I'm sorry everyone but I'm bursting inside and I just need to vent I think because I've ****ed up in so many ways today.

Ever since the first time someone found out I cut I have slowly been losing all the knives in my house. The collection I had just for show, the one I'd keep under my pillow when I felt threatened, the ones that I used to cut that I could sterilize and didn't do too much permanent damage. Hell even my kitchen knives have either gone missing or are now super dull.

I think my mother and my ex conspired against me, but now I've cracked again and there's nothing in the house but a really rust exacto knife my friend in construction left by accident.

I feel like such a mess and like I let everyone down.