I had T today...and what turned from a perfectly normal session turned into a very difficult one. We were talking about how my parents left one of their cars here because they didn't want my sister driving it out to/in/around California and how it just sits in my apartment complex parking lot because I don't drive...and then it came out...the reason I don't drive.

When I was a freshman in high school, I was hit by a car while IN a crosswalk, heading across the street to my dad's car after choir rehearsal. I honestly don't remember the details of the event...which my T said she completely understands. She asked a bunch of questions, some that I could answer, and some that I couldn't...and I told her things that even recalling caused a great amount of anxiety. All classic signs of PTSD (woohoo -- another diagnosis to add to my seemingly never-ending list)...

T said she was very glad that I felt comfortable enough to share this with her because she never knew or would have thought that that was my reason for not driving. She also said if I ever want to, we can work on it and do EMDR. I told her I am not ready for that now (I was already feeling super anxious and vulnerable), and she said that's fine, but always an option.

I managed to keep my tears at bay until I was out of her office and outside, but I was blinking them back the entire bus ride home.

Even now I am feeling a bit anxious still and I just don't know...this is a whole new can of worms opened...and I don't know how I feel about that.