tigergirl: I'm sorry you had a bad, triggering experience in therapy and are feeling alone and frustrated. I hate those feelings too!! Please don't be hard on yourself. Whatever internal rules you have are there to protect you. Maybe your T and you can work on accepting the need for that protection and then work on going past it so that he can help you with the issues you need help with.

Can you write down or draw your feelings instead of talking about them? You're NOT alone.