It did for a long time and now I just try and fight it. When I start dissociating I know it's time to hold of the big fights and get help with them, but if it's just my anxiety I can usually get past it. Depressions a bit harder because it's harder to be motivated but I can do it.

I try and sabatage some of my better times but I can tell when I do it enough to try and fix it.

I refuse to miss out on the awesome bits of life. It's why I fight so hard and why I can honestly say I'm doing this for me. Sure it takes a lot of effort and time (at least as twice as long as most people) but I really wanted to do school and I really want to study what I'm studying and damn it if I was going toget in the way of my dreams, and definitely not some stupid *** who hurt me.

And I cling to that even when I don't think I can believe it or whenever I think I can't do it.