My heart goes out to you and I am deeply sorry for what you had to endure. I, too, couldn't afford therapy, but because of my low income, there was counselling help offered free through the government. Get a phone book and start calling around in government agencies. It is worth a try and having someone to talk to to help you separate, reorganize and deal with thoughts will help you immensley. Thankyou for sharing. You deserve 100 times better.