I'm growing to hate my own mind. I need to remain constantly distracted or else I slip into uncontrollable fits of emotion. I constantly have my headphones in or am doing some pointless task alone. If I stop for even a second and think about anything worth thinking about, my mind spirals into uncontrollable depression, hopelessness, anger and confusion. The only problem is this is taking away from my life. I know I can't spend my whole life wasting away in front of a computer or just drowning out the world with music but I honestly can't bear to face the world without it.

I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to go out there and face the world when this is all I can help to feel. I can't really accomplish anything anymore because I either need to be so distracted I don't know what's going on or I sink into these horrible fits of depression. I just can't help but notice all of the bad things. I can't help but feel complete hopelessness at life, just knowing that it doesn't amount to anything.