Oh honey, yes it is definitely abusive.

Where are you now? What is your current situation? Are you safe? There are many hotlines that you could call to get help, but it is complicated for an adult and even harder for someone so preciously young. Do you have another relative you could live with if it were necessary (a grandparent or aunt/uncle who isn't using drugs/alcohol)?

I encourage you to find someone to talk to - a guidance counselor, a member of clergy, a teacher or someone's parent. I've walked down your path alone and it doesn't lead to good places - just more hurt and fear.

PM me if you want to talk more and please don't apologize for taking up time or asking for help. PC can be the family you always wanted and clearly don't have.

Bub