I confess that I haven't read every post b/c it's 3 am and I should be sleeping, but I am too keyed up b/c I JUST HAD THIS CONVERSATION WITH MY T TODAY. I haven't read the book you mentioned, but devoured "Why Does He do That - Inside the Mind of an Angry and Controlling Man" by Lundy Bancroft.

OMG was it eye opening for me. I expected not to relate to anything because in my mind he (husband) wasn't "abusive enough" or "violent enough" but I related to about 80% of it.

The best part of the book, IMO, is that he also shares many warning signs for what to look for in any relationship (not just romantic) so we don't slide back into the same trap.

I'm sorry this is disjointed - but I just am having a hard time believing that 42 of my 46 years have been severely abusive. How did this happen to me??