aja........i could have written this post myself....but my dad died in 1981.......and i still grieve for him.........my dad was also a very big part of my life but what helps me in making choices is to think of how he taught me to handle things......take what he gave you in the way of life lessons and use them when you can....know that he would be proud of you...take your time and grieve as you must......it will get better..i can promise you this.......