Thanks for caring.... I seem to be on an emotional rollercoaster - from obsessing about how to kill myself, to being just fine and cleaning my house (which I had definately been neglecting). I don't know if I have been constantly on the go because I'm scared that the next day I won't feel able to do anything, or if it's actually something else.

Weird. I am not really understanding myself. I went from being extremely suicidal to happy... there has been no difference in terms of events. I'm really scared of falling again - I don't feel too much in control. I made plans for tomorrow and Sat. because I have been in such a good mood - but part of me is scared, because if I feel like I have been feeling - I won't want to meet anyone. It's the first weekend in a LONG time that I have actually taken an initiative to see pple.
I don't understand what's going on!
But, I'm still here... somehow I have kept myself somewhat together... if you can call it 'together'