This is absolutely related to BPD. I have felt this way my entire life. I always feel like "if I just had "this" or "that", if I could find the right career, the right man, the right state and city to live in THEN I would find my identity, that place I feel at peace and where I belong but it never came.

I'm still currently working on this issue myself and I've heard DBT/CBT is very useful. Are you in therapy at all? I'm working with my Therapist on one issue at a time at the moment but we haven't gotten to the lack of identity yet.

You are not alone and your thoughts/feelings are the same as mine.