I know exactly how you feel, I've been in the same situation. My razors were taken, all sharp things just seemed to disappear. And the moment that I needed them most, was the moment that they vanished. I know that that cutting makes things so much easier, and honestly, even though I've stopped a little while ago, I haven't found anything that gives me such a rush, yet also so much peace. With a razor blade in my hand, I knew that everything would be alright. But, maybe this the time where you have to find something else to relieve your pain... Maybe doing something you love, maybe pursuing something, maybe finding it in yourself to release some of this pain that you've held onto for so long. If you want, please pm me, and maybe we could talk about this... or something else to take your mind off of the anger, the pain... because I've been in your shoes. I still am in your shoes. I know how it feels. I hope that today is a better day for you, and also that you do pm me, because it would be really nice to have a friend to talk to.