I do not think you have a flaw. Think about the marry-the-same-kind-of-person argument; there are two people in a marriage and you were not like your husband. So, who gets someone hard working like you? Someone who values that. I am quite sure you would be able to recognize someone like your ex-husband before you married them and the stay-at-home mother issue is not something you are interested in now anymore either; we all grow or change (in your husband's case, sounds like negatively) as time goes on. Sounds like you learned some hard lessons.

I am glad you are safe now and more comfortable.