Very...The reality for me is that I "made" it through my major breakdown several years ago and I have lost myself.

It's like I have this script...a role in life with family and friends that I live due to their interaction with me. Without "their" plans or "their" conversations. I don't have anything.

If I spend too much time with anyone of them and the "distraction" wears off I start to get agitated with the fact that now there is nothing after that "role"

I have a superficial script and without that I have nothing to myself.

I'm like a ticking bomb many times and not sure what will happen to me half the time.

Yah it feels scary. Kind of like having weights on your legs pulling you down...drowning and you keep trying to get to the surface, but can't stay up there for 2 long.

Well that was pretty heavy.

When I write about how I feel I really am not sure what will come out *shrugs*.

Hope you guys are doing ok with your fears.