Today I saw my pdoc and it was a really hard session. He usually spends 30-40 min with me. I told him that am having a lot of trouble with my thoughts and how depressed have been and how work is really stressing me out. I asked him if he could write a doc. note to get out of work for a little while. He didn't want to because I don't have structure when not at work. He thinks I should go into a day treatment program. I really don't want to do that. I don't do good in groups and would have a drive everyday over an hour. I can't afford the gas that would go along with that. I told him I was going to work on a workbook and things like that. He is going to talk to my T to see what her input is on this as well. He did end up giving me a note for tomorrow.

Anyways, Just a little while ago my dad called and told him that I am starting a new med and that have tomorrow off and just catching him up on myself. I have also been having a friend stay sometimes lately as she is homeless and going from one place to another. THis friend and I do have a history and it's not really a good one. We have both changed and tried telling this to my dad. He doesn't buy it and he wants me to have nothing to do with her. He doesn't want me taking time off work and said that I am better off alone. I can understand his worry if that's what it is, and I know there is a past between my friend and I, but he doesn't believe me when I told him things have been going downhill for the last 3 months. He doesn't believe me he thinks it's all because of this friend.

My friend helps me though. She helps me not have to think about my crap. We laugh and I actually get out of myself for a while. Yeah am a person that likes to be alone, and usually do better when am alone. I love my friend a lot and I still do watch what I say when I am around her because I don't want the wrath of her.

I don't know how to feel or what to think about this. Any suggestions would be great.

Thanks for listening and sorry this is so long
jen