I have always felt different, especially when I started High School, but thought at the time it was because of the whole teenage thing. I struggled so much though and looking back, I always felt somewhat lost and continued to be so . . . now it seems worse than ever at 48. It seems that many things in life effect me and not in such a good way. All of my accomplishments, good experiences, friendships, etc. have left me with what seems like nothing positive for myself and the more negative things just continue to feed this lost, confused soul within and my low self-esteem. I understand well the extremes in the motivation to the lack of it and the mood shifts in short amounts of time. I never know what to plan or not because about the only thing I can depend on is that in a matter of even a few short minutes, I'm going to feel differently . . . just not sure what that feeling is going to be and generally speaking it's not an easy one. Good luck with your upcoming DBT program . . . I wish you the best.