Thank you Mouse! Thanks AlexK!

You both put it more eloquently than I have been able to!

Mouse, I really relate to what you said, and usually getting what I need piecemeal is enough. Lately, that needy feeling is completely voracious, and I am left feeling like he is trying to hurt me by holding back (he may not be holding back at all but that's how I percieve it at times.) I understand the transference issues but knowing this intellectually does not always help. I think that I can try to tell him what's going on, but I'm finding it hard to ask for something specific. If I could identify what it was I think he'd try to accomodate it in some way.

alexandraK, I'm glad you put this explaination on the board (I think I heard/read this somewhere too.) I think Mirroring and Idealising definitely apply here! What you said sounds correct in my situation too, but I think for once I want to be special to someone. Growing up, there was a blantant "favorite" in my family and it wasn't me. I really needed someone to take an interest in me and my growth because my parents sure didn't find me interesting enough to teach basic life skills, never mind "quality time". I'm sure thier attitude would be "you're an adult, get over it" but the groundwork they set has reverberated throughout my life. I even find it hard to get myself proper medical care when I need it, even with a fantastic job and solid insurance. I was never taught how to take care of myself. Sorry to whine, I'm glad both you and Mouse posted!!