Patagonia, have you ever sat down and talked to him about why you have done it? Why you do it? How sometimes and some days, things get so unbearable, and so unbelievably terrible, that SI feels like the best thing? I've been there, and done that too, and relapsed, and got caught, and relapsed, and got caught, and disgusted and shamed some important people in my life... However, you and him have a serious relationship. He should be your comfort, and you his. I think you should try sitting down with him and talking about it, even though it is such a painful subject. Try to get him to understand where you're coming from - you're not asking him to agree, but to just understand that it's a part of you, just like he is. And you're not doing this for attention, but because it's... nature. I hope you stay strong, and get even stronger