Fox, I know you're curious, and that sometimes these really really strong urges are so incredibly difficult to fight, but it's not worth it. Trust me. I SIed for a couple years, and after I started, it was nearly impossible to stop. I slapped, I hit, I burned, and I cut... But after each SI, the urges only became stronger and harder to fight it, and I wound up doing it every day, sometimes several times a day... And then the depression, and the sadness, and the loneliness becomes magnified where it's unbearable. Try to do something else to ignore the urges, and one day it'll start to dissipate and go away, little by little. Please don't start, I can tell you're so strong - hang on there. You're not alone.