I know how you feel - I used to be the same way a couple years ago, and it was the way I survived... but in order to stop, or slow down how frequently you do it, you have to do two things: 1. why you do it. if it's because of depression or memories haunting you, or something else, you have to face it. not all at once, but you have to face it, and feel free to pm me if you need somebody to talk to, or just want to chat, because I would LOVE that. and 2. try doing it less and less, little by little. If right now you do it 5 times a day, try working it down to 4, then 3, then 2... and when you're not SIing, occupy your time so that you're not thinking about it - like going on long walks outside, or watching movies, or something like that. I really hope this helps, I just wish I could take all your pain away. I'm so sorry you're going through this, Hippy