thanks so much, curley, for the advice. my mother definitely respects me being on my own journey, thankfully, so i know she would respond if i said i needed to make my own mistakes. i know, because i've actually had this conversation with her and she's already showed me that she will allow me to live my life, eff up, and to learn lessons for myself. so that is ONE good part of the situation. i was really upset when i wrote this initial post the other night, so it probably came out a lot more exaggerated and angry than it was.

it's more just a pitiful feeling that i have against myself. i feel like such a disgrace that i'm still living at home. like there is something wrong with me, or i'm incapable. i know that's not the case, i'm completely ready to live on my own, but that's how it feels.

and then when my mother gets on my case like she did the other night, it just makes it worse. deep down, i know she is just being a mom, and maybe she doesn't have many people in her life (which undeniably, is an unhealthy part of the situation). but it still drives me nuts being around her so much.

i did come up with a tentative idea of moving in with my father temporarily so mom and i don't drive each other nuts. i think i may end up pursuing that idea in the near future.