I never used to watch pornography. It never used to do anything for me. until the last year or so I started masturbating frequently, and then I started getting into bdsm. I have a lot of fantasies. I have a partner that I am committed to and we have sex usually a few times a day. I like being abused,and insulted, having clothes pins on my nipples, I like It when my boyfriend wears a ski mask, and I call him daddy, He even gets annoyed with me wanting to have rough intercourse with me sometimes. I have fantasies of being raped by relatives, having sex with a women, or a threesome and I was molested as a child which is odd because you would think that would never cross my mind?

I feel really dirty perverted and disgusting at times. and almost ashamed for my sexual problems. I don't even know If It Is even a problem. I'm a young adult, and I feel like this kind of behavior might be odd given my age, and gender. I even have fantasies of my partner having sex with someone else in front of me, I sometimes watch pornography and pretend like I'm watching my boyfriend have intercourse with another women on the screen. Which is odd because I'm a very insecure, jealous, possessive girlfriend and I don't even know If I could deal with it. WAIT i know I WOULDN'T be able to deal with that,

I like a lot of stimulation all at once, and roleplaying. I feel like It's almost high after I get off, and have pleasing intercourse. Sometimes I'll feel irritated until I get off. I will also get paranoid at times while I'm masturbating that other people (roommates or neighbors) can hear my vibrator/pornography. If I was home by myself more often I would probably masturbate more than 3 times a day. I thought guys really only jacked off a bunch. I don't know how to feel about all of this. I have ruined relationships before with cheating, I cheated on my current boyfriend already with another girl, and If It wasn't a girl we wouldn't be together right now. He still flipped out, and he was still really upset, but I was able to make him forgive me for It. I really don't want to ruin another relationship. I don't see myself getting bored of him, I mean I love him, I just get worried sometimes.