So, my parents aren't exactly the "happy couple" they used to be when i was little... my dad's become violent, and yells all the time at my mum, and he's well a total jerk.... To the point of i no longer actually consider him a "dad". They've talked about splitting up, but then my dad actually apologised for his behaviour! (something he would not do usually.) he treats my mum and i like we're dirt and worthless. In fact he's actually told me that i will never amount to anything in this life, and that i will be the "bag lady" forever and will never be able to take care of myself... yet, my sister is the "perfect little angel that can't do any wrong in his eyes" i then dated someone who was very much like him,(abusive and all) but WORSE!....
the thing is, i worry SOOO MUCH about becoming like them... My current boyfriend and I have had a wonderful relationship, and i worry about treating him like i've been treated in the past, even though he and a good friend of mine constantly tell me i wont. My other problem, since high school, i've had severe mood swings, and lately they've been getting worse... to the point of yelling at my bf to just leave me alone, and then within a few minutes i'm texting him telling him some crazy plan im gonna do with him, and it gets hard b/c he doesn't understand why this is happening, and quite frankly, neither do i, nor can i even communicate to him what;s going on with me, and even how im feeling. we want to get married, and that's a mutual thing, but i dont want to have a kid of my own-just adopt- annnd, he does, and i just dont know what should i say to make him understand. i know this may sound crazy or whatnot but way i see it, he'd be just the sperm donor during those 9 months whereas i may go through agony during that time span. its not like he'd be going through labour and giving birth to the child!