Thank you for the advice & I will try & talk to him again.

I did try yesterday to talk to him. Told him I was here to listen to what he had to say, but he said he was so appalled by seeing that stuff again that he doesn't wanto talk. He doesn't know who I am & says he can't trust me w/ anything. That hurt bec I'm a full time S@H mom so I guessed he meant w/ the kids. He said she wants & needs his wife back.
To me right away I think another word for wife is slave & I'm not doing everything a wife should for the amount of time I'm home. The house should not be this chaotic or messy, wash should b done, meals made, ironing done, kids entertained so when he comes home he can relax. He does come home & does house chores I didn't get to like starting a load of wash, cleaning up the kitchen etc. things I guess he shouldn't have to do. He is a kept man & is very used to that. When I'm depressed I throw a wrench into everything including all his after work plans. Now he feels like he has to check up on me I guess. There's definitely a power struggle there.
If I try to talk to him about why I SI I'm not sure he'll listen bec he doesn't even understand why I'm depressed when I have a cushy life. I will try again to talk to him so he sees my side I'm just afraid of the consequences when I put myself out there.
My T's have asked him a couple of times to come in & have a session w/ me. He says he's too busy.
I feel extremely alone & have been for a very long time but once again if I tell him that he says he's not responsible for my unhappiness.

I don't know what to do. All my triggers have lined up for SU but the only thing that keeps me here are my kids. I can't leave them when theyre so little.