My father was bad. He never had time for his children. His wives. He was awful really.
Some of the things I remember vividly was him beating my mother, beating us kids, shooting pet cats in our street, trying to drown our dog. The list goes on...
For some strange reason, my mother stayed with him through the affairs and violence. I guess she knew no better or it was an esteem issue she had. Perhaps he had so much control over her she lost herself...
My dad used to treat us so badly but all the while, unbeknown to us, he had another partner, another family, another house, another life. Why didnt he just leave us? Why did he keep coming back to make us anxious and hurt us? Who knows...
Eventually we found out about his other life and my mother split with him. At this stage he had accumulated so much wealth and real estate with this other woman. He left my mother with all the bills, including his loans, his business loan which she went guarantor for, everything. She took it to a lawyer and ended up having to pay out the loans she went guarantee for as well as pay him half the value of our family home. She will now be working til she is 145 to pay it all off.... The mental state he left us all in was terrible. My mother has major depression but has to work to pay her bills. I fell pregnant amongst the settlement and was very ill during my pregnancy due to stress. Still, there has been no apology from him, no acknowledgement of wrong doing, nothing. He sent me a package when I gave birth and some flowers. It felt awkward even accepting them, knowing he was such a bastard. He rings me from time to time to tell me how well he is going and how he has boats and houses and money and really rub it in my face. Am I supposed to be happy for him? I look after my mother, as well as my own children and partner. He doesn't want to know my kids, never sees them. This hurts me the most.. They are beautiful kids. My brother was sent to jail for domestic violence in his own relationship and even the judge mentioned the violence he had experienced as a child had an effect on him.
There's many other horrendous stories I could share but I guess what I am trying to say is- I have a father. And he haunts me. He has bought no sunshine into my life. Only pain and hurt. If I had a choice, I think I'd rather no father from an early age rather than to live with the after effect off his nastiness and narcissism. Every aspect of my life has been affected by this man in a negative way. I still answer his calls though.... I guess I'm hoping for some miracle!!