Basically, drama involved a series of breakup, betrayal with friends and an ex. Now the drama is over. I should be glad, but I'm angry. I feel wronged, I feel like I can't ever trust anyone again about my feelings, I feel like everyone's so happy and done with it and I'm the only one left behind to deal with it, because apparently stepping and crushing my feelings was the solution to their moving on from this.

I'd rather be alone from now on. I'll never forget what happened. And the anger and tears just won't stop. And it's still affecting me. Very very badly. At least I can take comfort from the thought I apparently "won't hurt anyone anymore". I don't want friends. I don't want anyone to be friends with me. I don't want to meet people. I want to be alone forever and die alone. I HATE PEOPLE RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY SECOND. THE PEOPLE WHO WERE IN MY LIFE AND CAUSED ME SUCH PAIN I CAN'T BREATHE...I feel betrayed, lonely, I'm so messed up, AND I'M THE ONE WHO'S LEFT BEHIND TO SUFFER LIKE THIS. I HATE IT. AND the worst thing....I CAN'T STOP BLAMING MYSELF...and it surfaces in the form of depression, and anger, and then suicidal thoughts....and i have to pretend and smile and say to everyone I'M ALRIGHT WHEN I'M SO NOT. BECAUSE NO ONE GIVES A F***** DAMN. NO ONE.

I'm grateful I joined. I really don't know how I would have coped. Thanks for reading.