You do eventually remember! Memory is a tricky thing but it can be worked with just like other mental skills. I would not bother with calling myself names and thinking bad thoughts about myself as that does not help or "do" anything useful? I would make lists, make signs asking myself "What do you need?" and put them in the car so I would think before I started the car. I would carry around a backpack and not put that down out of my sight and put things in and out of it (I do not understand how you put the novel down when asking if they had the flashdrive?). I would study myself and what sorts of things I forget and "how"/why and think of new games and habits I could try to fix that sort of problem. I would make up songs and poems, etc. about what I was carrying, what I had in my hands, what I was doing, wear my flash drive on a lanyard around my neck, etc.

It sounds like you could be unconsciously forgetting things in order to have a reason to think badly about yourself as in, "I cannot be expected to get good grades because I keep losing things". I would definitely make friends with myself and help myself instead of putting myself down as a "loser".