KITCHEN SIGN LANGUAGE

Martha Stewart
DOESN'T live here!!

Ring bell for maid service.
If no answer, do it yourself!

I clean house every other day.
Today is the other day.

If you write in the dust,
please don't date it!

If you don't like my standards of cooking ...
lower your standards.

My house was clean last week,
too bad you missed it!

I came, I saw,
I decided to order take out.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen,
and this kitchen is DELIRIOUS.

This is NOT Burger King ...
you get it MY way or you don't get anything.

Countless numbers of people have eaten in this kitchen
and gone on to lead normal lives.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

I'm creative; you can't expect me to be tidy too!

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves,
for they shall never cease to be amused.